Since starting my blog and getting serious about my weight loss in general I have been pretty vocal on my personal Facebook page. I usually announce when I have a good work out, or have a workout victory like when I ran a 15 min mile for the 1st time. I also post when I am not having such great days. Basically all my friends and all my only on facebook friends have watched my transformation. Only recently have I tried rallying those FB friends to actually join me in some of my fitness endeavors (like my new love for Zumba).
Only a few have taken the bait and inquired about coming with me to the gym. More often than not they back out either prior to our date (Fit-date..exer-date…lol I want to have a name for it) or on the actual date. Which is typical. I almost never get my hopes up now when someone asks if we can get together to do as they say “whatever you’ve been doing”. It amazes me though that these are all the people who complain and gripe about their weight or about their lack of fitness. I understand their mindset though because I used to be them. I used to complain about my belly,legs or whatever body part happened to annoy me that day with it’s extra plump-ness. I used to make fit-dates with people and not follow through.
One friend sent a message on FB asking me how I was doing and what I was doing to lose the weight. She wrote back that she was happy for me and that we needed to get together to do some things (exercise & non-exercise). She then commented that her and her boo are not married yet because she needed to lose some weight before she would feel comfortable standing up in front of everyone and getting married. I replied and told her to give me a call I am available and willing to start losing weight with her. Later on that day something made me think of her and I thought wow it’s funny what gaining weight will do to us.
Here is this beautiful woman who has been with this great man for a few years they have two kids and run a business together. All in all she has a great life. She loves him and he loves her but because she has gained probably 30-40 lbs she is basically too embarrassed to go through with their wedding. Despite the fact that her fiance loves her no matter what she’s so worried about people looking and judging her that she has put her plans aside until she loses the weight.
Why do we do this I asked myself. I’ve done it a few times, very specifically when it comes to family pictures. Tony has been trying to take family pictures for the past few years and I remember vividly telling him that I refuse to take pictures looking “all fat”. Why the hell did I want my fatness documented in picture form? In reality that made no sense since I was then as I am now a bonafide picture whore. I love taking pictures but something about taking actual professional pictures made me step back and realize that whatever front I put on everyday when I walk out the door was just that a front and in actuality I wasn’t happy with the way I looked.
I eventually got over it. I decided to think of the picture as documenting a happy family, my happy family instead of documenting my fatness. My kids didn’t see me that way and Tony didn’t see me that way so why be afraid of showing me smiling, happy and surrounded by love. I was the same person regardless of my extra poundage. I decided that I then wanted to take the picture but by then Tony had gained some pounds and it was now him refusing to take the picture.
That just goes to show you that it isn’t just women who do this it’s also men. Just because you gain some weight doesn’t mean you are automatically out of the running to do anything fun and or social. Yes you may feel uncomfortable but it’s time to get over that. Love yourself now! Love every roll,stretch mark, and jiggly bit. Why? Because they are you.
I remember when I first met Tony and he said something about me being so confident (actually he could have said conceited). I said well if I don’t think I am cute,beautiful,worthy who else will? Granted I forgot that after I gained a good 50 lbs but it soon became part of who I was again.
This statement rings true if you don’t find yourself beautiful, if you don’t think you are worthy how can you expect others to feel that way about you? Actually to me the others don’t matter. I am all that matters. You are all that matters to yourself. To me Loving yourself is the first step in the journey of weight loss. If you don’t love yourself now there is no sure bet that when you drop these pounds that you will love the new skinnier you. You may still feel ugly, you may still feel uncomfortable in your skin. You must embrace that you love you regardless of what your outer appearance.
Once you find this love you will wonder how you ever went through life not loving your entire person. You will become more adventerous.
I only stumbled back into this mindset in the past year. Probably right before I decided to get extra serious and drop these pounds. One huge thing this has helped me get over is my legs. I have always not liked my legs. Even when I was smaller I had big legs. Granted back then they were more muscular but still they were big nonetheless. I never wore dresses/skirts/shorts. How could I my legs were ridiculous. I used to wear jeans all through the summer. In 90 degree heat I had on jeans or pants or at best maybe capri’s. Do you realize how insane wearing jeans in the summer is? This past year I have worn more dresses & skirts than I have ever worn in my entire life. I have declared this past year the year of the legs.
With my story above I am telling you to love yourself. Realize that you are great. You are worthy. You are beautiful. Please wake up in the morning and tell yourself this. Do something that you wouldn’t normally do. Do not wait for the new you! Once you begin to love yourself you have automatically transformed into the new you. You can do anything.
~Randi
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